on explorations of who i am + the work i have been given.

it was july 15 when i last posted here… and now, october 26 — finding myself itching to write again, to wrap words around what these last few months have been.

FreewritingRachel DawsonOctober 26, 2022the on seriesComment

on the weight of words.

our words carry weight.

our words have power.

our words matter.

FreewritingRachel DawsonJuly 9, 2020the on seriesComment

on family and detaching in love.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about family. I have more questions and unresolved thoughts than I have answers and advice, but I wanted to attempt to share some of my thinking here.

FreewritingRachel DawsonJanuary 13, 2020the on series, family, melody beattie, counselingComment

on learning to love the middles.

I like things perfect. (hello, enneagram One!) I like things controlled, and clear, and clean, and finished. I like things black or white, and I’m not a fan of all the shades of gray in between. I like starting new things, and I like when things wrap up, but I’m not really all that stoked about the journey in between.

FreewritingRachel DawsonSeptember 7, 2019the on series, middle, counselingComment

Dear Body...

Dear body… It’s been a rough season for us, hasn’t it? I haven’t loved you very well lately. I haven’t felt proud of you, haven’t felt good about you, haven’t really known how to address you or see you or appreciate you…

FreewritingRachel DawsonJuly 2, 2019body image, counseling, letterComment

on humility and hard work.

it’s not at all easy to open yourself up— to your own self-reflection, to God, to others. to let down your guard, to inch open the door, to break through the defenses, to let another person see you and speak to you and share with you… it takes work. real, hard work.

FreewritingRachel DawsonMay 8, 2019the on series, humilityComment

on disruptions and living on purpose.

it’s easy to go through the days on autopilot, waking up and working and eating and mostly just going through the motions without real thought or intention. lately, i’ve been trying to disrupt that.

FreewritingRachel DawsonJanuary 7, 2019the on series, flannery o'connorComment

Dear Former Me...

My homework for counseling this past week after telling my story publicly was to write a letter to that former version of myself, back when everything happened and I felt like all hope was lost. This is what I wrote.

FreewritingRachel DawsonNovember 13, 2018letter, survivor, sexual assault, abuse survivorComment

on feelings and fighting and faith.

it’s been ages since i’ve written just to write here. i’ve shared lists and reviews and products, but have I honestly shared my heart? not so much.

FreewritingRachel DawsonOctober 10, 2018the on series, depression, anxiety, counselingComment

on shadows and sunshine.

In a season of depression that has most often felt dark and heavy, it's been hard to celebrate the light when it shines.

on the little clues and big truths.

little clues. tiny signs. all pointing to i'm not okay. I want to be, truly. but yet, not entirely.

FreewritingRachel DawsonJune 19, 2018the on series, depression, counseling, anti-depressant, truthComment

A Pep Talk for the Hard Days

I'm not here to get loud and shout cheers and try to amp you up about life. This isn't a pep talk full of platitudes and cliches. I'm not trying to be phony or fluff you up with falsehoods. I'm just here to keep it real.

FreewritingRachel DawsonMay 31, 2018pep talk, counseling, counselor, dark night of the soul, steve brownComment

When You Realize Loving People Hurts

It was in January that he said those words to me from his blue chair across the room to the left corner of the couch where I sat week after week. I knew he was right, but I didn't like it.

FreewritingRachel DawsonMay 25, 2018love, friendships, relationships, counselingComment

on green things and staying grounded.

i've been craving the feeling of bare feet on soft green grass. i've been wanting to plunge my hands into big pots of cool soil, wanting to break it up between my fingers and be reminded i came from dust like this and i'll return to dust like this someday too.

FreewritingRachel DawsonApril 25, 2018the on series, gardening, garden, spring, resurrectionComment

on the coming and the going.

there's something about roots, and something about wings. there's something about adventure, and something about contentment. there's something about there, and still so much about here.

Freewriting, Exploring + TravelingRachel DawsonMarch 5, 2018the on series, adventure, travelComment

on living in tension.

the tension is everywhere. i'm unsure what to do with it. but we must start somewhere, and so I am starting here.

FreewritingRachel DawsonDecember 13, 2017the on series, tension, belief, hope, justiceComment

on antidotes for anxiety.

I've learned little by little that the anxiety does not have to win.